little doubtful devil....

Little Doubtful Devil

You know the one - he sits on your shoulder, usually a couple of weeks before a race....whether that would be a 10k, half marathon, marathon or an ultra, he sits there all the time.  Somedays you've no idea he is there and other days, my god, he doesn't shut up.

And today he was out in force....and making me very nervous.  I don't need reminding that it's a long way but the nagging starts from the moment you wake up, to the time you sit in front of your computer and stare at emails, knowing you are responding but feeling a tapping on the shoulder every few minutes and a little voice in the ear asking me "do you know how far this race is"......making me look again and again and again at the maps, websites,blogs, forums.....thinking "have I done enough" and "what food do i take, how much fluid will i need and how far apart should the crew be".

I then received an email from Robert Treadwell who will be running the whole night section with me and just his words and advice was enough to calm me back down and realise that anything that could have been done, has been done and the last thing to do is meet the crew tomorrow and go through the 30+ hours that I'll be out running along the Grand Union.  I know that I won't be throwing any hissy fits as that's just not me, I now know that I am not allowed to be negative as Rob said he will not allow that to happen, but what I do now know is that my crew and friends are 100% behind me every step of the way and one thing I know for sure is that they won't let me quit.

So for now the little doubtful devil has gone quiet - but he'll be back again I'm sure and quite a few times over the next 12 or so days or until I cross that finish and shaking Dick's hand whilst taking the weight of a massive medal around my neck.....then the little doubtful devil can hide again....well until Welsh Castles at least.